


Life Derailed

by bebrezzy91



Series: Life Unexpected [1]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Adoption, Eventual Oliver Queen/Felicity Smoak, F/M, Surprise I'm Your Kid, Teen Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-07-11
Packaged: 2018-11-18 23:18:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11300886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bebrezzy91/pseuds/bebrezzy91
Summary: Felicity Smoak has made one mistake her whole life. Sixteen years later it comes to bite her in the butt.





	Life Derailed

**Author's Note:**

> Procrastinating writing with writing is my greatest flaw lol but I hope you guys enjoy :D

 

6/5/2017 6:23 AM 

_**"Wake up Star City! You're listening to Felicity and Tommy on G-100 with a little Morning Madness. It is 6:23 and if you're just waking up, screw you, Tommy and I have been up since five."** _

As long as she can remember, Felicity Smoak has been blessed with the gift of gab. 

As a child there was never a problem she couldn't talk herself out of, either from laying out the facts of her case or just stone cold determination, going on until her mother couldn't even remember what she was scolding her about. She charmed students and teachers alike, heading the robotics, newspaper, and A/V clubs, as well as student council all four years of high school, despite being a scholarship kid and all around dork. 

She hit a gold mine writing papers for other students.  

There's always been an endless supply of words and tangents bouncing around in her brain, only half of which make it through the filter of what she deems appropriate conversation.  

So when the time came to decide what she wanted to do in life and her school counselor asked her what she was good at,  _talking_ was the answer she gave. 

_**"Yeah, and as usual, arguing since six." Her co-host snarks.** _

_**"Anyway, if you're just tuning in, we are in the middle of a tantalizing game of Sex, Marry, Kill. Tommy just did the Jessicas."** _

_**"Sex Biel, marry Alba, kill Simpson."** _

_**"He conveniently left out the best Jessica's, Rabbit and Lange."** _

_**"Felicity just passed on doing the Ryan's because she's a lifetime cynic who doesn't believe in marriage."** _

_**"I'm just saying! It's ridiculous to believe human beings are meant to be monogamous creatures. So screw marriage. I like the sex and kill parts better."** _

_**"I'd bet money Felicity's boyfriend is somewhere breathing a huge sigh of relief right now."** _

_**"There's no boyfriend. We're just hanging out."** _

_**"Oh no, w hat'd he do to freak you out this time? Maybe give you a compliment? Did he want to meet your parents?" Tommy asks in horror.** _

_**"God I wish, he called me... ugh, he called me... the one."** _

_**"Oh, my God!"** _

_**"I know!"** _

_**"Well, I hope really gave it to this guy. I mean, I hope you did something crazy or even slightly violent like, like hurl a remote at his forehead."** _

_**"Well I'm never telling you anything."** _

_**"Surprisingly enough I'm okay with that."** _

Being a radio personality is one of those things she always knew she'd be good at in the back of her mind but never really gave much thought. She'd been a guest in college on her boyfriends campus station and she'd been so quick witted and impressionable that the producers gave her a weekly appearance which eventually led to a full time slot. Her hobby would eventually become a career and one of the best things about her life. 

_**"Our first caller of the morning is Tonya, you're on the line."** _

_**"Yeah I'm calling because I agree with Tommy. I really want to meet someone and settle down and have a million babies. It just seems impossible to find a guy willing to commit."** _

_**"Yeah, well, you know what's actually impossible is having a million babies."** _

_**"Felicity, have  you ever wondered why you're 32 years old and don't have a maternal bone in your body? I mean, where's the biological clock? Where is that desire to make more than ramen noodles and burnt toast?"** _

_**Doing the show with Tommy every morning is literally a dream come true, she's locally famous so she gets great seats at restaurants. And people send her fruit baskets and edible arrangements literally every week. And she gets to do what she loves and if she's being honest has no control over. Talk all day.** _

_**"I learned really early on, the only person you can depend on in this world is yourself. I mean, if you expect anything else, you're just setting yourself up for heartbreak."** _

_**"Okay, well, on that truly uplifting note, that's our show for today, people. I'm Tommy Merlyn, alongside my clinically insane but moderately loveable co-host, Felicity Smoak."** _

Tommy cuts out the sound and Felicity takes off her headphones narrowing her eyes at the dark haired man. 

"Clinically insane?" She says standing, rounding the desk. 

"I also said loveable." He says standing in front of her. 

" _M_ _oderately_ _lovable_ , Merlyn. Tell me this-" She jabs a finger into his chest to emphasize her words. "Why is it that on every talk show across America, the guys is always this calm and smart voice of reason to balance out the crazy and bitter unlucky in love sidekick." 

"Well to be fair, that's also kind of who you are, I mean you threw a remote control at my head last night." He says resting his arms around her waist as hers circle his neck. 

"First of all, threw is a strong word and I resent it, at worst I tossed it." 

He leans down to press a smiling kiss to her lips, her own  spreading to match. 

"It was at least a hurl." He says pulling away to open the door for her. 

"In my defense I really thought you'd catch it." 

"We both know I have shitty reflexes so I call bullshit on that." 

"If we'd been able to numb our minds with television we'd never have been in that situation. Can you tell John I have to leave early to be there when the guy from the cable company comes? We've missed him like three times." 

"You do tend to get violent when you miss the first airing of Game of Thrones." 

"Babe you know me so well." She says leaning over her desk to grab her bag.  

"I do. She's going to want us to do another segment tomorrow so be thinking of new topics." 

"Will do, don't forget to pick up the new wallpaper, I'll see you when you get home." She says pressing another quick kiss to his lips before heading down the hallway. 

"If you could have all our crap unpacked by the time I get home, that'd be great." 

"Goodbye Merlyn." 

She heads out to her mini in the parking lot, throwing her bag in the passenger seat before heading to her new home. 

Tommy Merlyn has been the most healthy and consistent relationship Felicity has had her entire life. And after three years, she'd finally broken down and agreed they should get a place together.  

Tommy is funny and attractive and a little perfect to balance out her odd humor and general flakiness.  

Her constant state of fight or flight, her inability to commit and depend on someone other than herself. For a while there, Felicity was a real train wreck, but Tommy somehow has managed to stick around through every one of her little freak outs over the years. At one point telling her if she wanted to breakup with him she'd have to submit a powerpoint presentation stating her case. 

Stability is now a norm in her life, something she'd been searching for as long as she could remember. And Felicity is happy. Like sickeningly happy, it's so gross. She gives herself cavities just thinking about it. 

She pulls up to the house, an adorable bungalow with an attic she could stuff all the crap she didn't want to deal with out of sight. Like the neon lit Budweiser sigh Tommy still thinks is going up in the house. 

The cable guy comes a few minutes after she gets home surely enough and she spends the day watching Marvel movies and unpacking boxes. 

Which is where she is when Tommy gets back, takeout in hand smart enough to know there's no way she's cooking.  

"Wait, is this the Goodwill pile? It seems like a disproportionate amount of my stuff." He says rifling through the box. 

"Quality over quantity my friend."  

"And you are not giving away your yearbook." He says rifling through the thick book, laminated in the classic reflective new millennium silver that marked her teenage years. 

"I've got an idea for tomorrow's segment Sex, Marry, Kill, circa 2001." He says grinning wildly 

"Oh God, hit me." She's already cringing at the idea. 

"Okay, Mr Steele from Sex-Ed, chess club president Barry Allen, or this guy you have  _completely_ defaced, Oliver-" 

"Oh Tommy no!" She says already jumping up to snatch the book away. He holds the book over her head running away from her. "Oh my God you dweeb give it to me!"  

"Goodwill does not want your yearbook." 

She hops on his back but his long arms are still too far away, hitting the light fixture. 

"See I know you're trying to get over on me but I actually kind of like this." 

"Oh my gosh fine." She says sliding off him as he flutters through her Star City Preparatory yearbook, a testament to the worst four years of her life. 

"Oh no Smoak, is that a bowl cut?" 

"It's not a buzz cut." Peering over his shoulder too see the unfortunate hairstyle. 

"This is definitely a buzz cut. A beautiful, angry, black buzz cut." 

"It's not a buzz cut! I asked for Winona Ryder but the woman heard Sinead O'Connor." She says snatching the book away from him as he laughs. She turns around to put the evil grimoire in the keep pile, picking up Tommy's skis to take to the attic. 

"Why do you even have ski's? There's no way you've skied enough your whole life to justify this purchase." 

"Felicity." 

Nothing in the world could have prepared her for what she sees when she turns around. Tommy on bended knee with a small black velvet box in his hand. A tiny huff of laughter escapes from her because there's just no way he's serious. 

"Felicity..." 

"Okay, Tommy what are you doing?" 

"Will you marry me?" His smile is so goofily happy and Felicity can feel her heart start to race and the only thing she can think to do is try and knock some sense into him, because seriously what the hell, so she punches him in his arm. 

"Ow! What is wrong with you?" 

"What is wrong with you? You don't... just... do that! You don't just sneak up on somebody and propose to them while they're holding a set of skis." 

"Ok, yeah, well, I tried to do it right last night, remember?  _The one_? The candlelight dinner? The remote hurtling towards my forehead?" He says standing, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "This is going so well."  

In hindsight she probably should have noticed the signs the night before, but while he was putting the moves on her his words just got so uncharacteristically cheesy and feeling-sy and she thought he was just messing with her. 

"I mean where is this even coming from?" 

"We've been together three years." 

"We haven't even lived together yet! You don't really know me!" 

"Seriously Felicity?" He says exasperated, and honestly she doesn't even know why she's so surprised or afraid of what's happening right now, probably some long seeded daddy issues she never dealt with or something. 

"Yes seriously! Like... I don't floss. You want to spend the rest of your life with a woman with poor dental hygiene!?" She is aware that she sounds like a crazy person right now. "And I wear these these, like, little footy pajamas and a mouth guard at night when you're not around. Did you know that?" 

"Actually, you know what? I do know that. And I know you hate toes. And you hate when people whisper things in your ear. And I know you're afraid of kangaroos because you held my hand the entire time we watched Kangaroo Jack when we babysat for Lyla and John." 

"They have pouches..." She whispers a tiny shudder escaping. 

"I know you never get your hopes up so that you never get disappointed and I get it. And I love you. I love that you have an apocalypse preparedness plan and have distributed copies of it to your loved ones. I love that you think it's weird that Kansas and Colorado touch. I love that you're the only adult I know that still eats Cookie Crisps for breakfast. The only thing I don't know is what happened to you to make you this screwed up! And this is absolutely not the speech I had prepared!" 

Felicity thinks she's going to cry. Tommy Merlyn loves her. Tommy Merlyn loves all of her. And she loves him.  

"That may have been the sweetest thing that anybody has ever yelled at me before." She wipes at her cheeks, putting the skis against the wall. "All right, go ahead, do it, you can propose." 

She rolls her shoulders before taking a breath to collect herself.  

"No, the moments gone." He says shrugging his shoulders.  

"What? No, Tommy!" 

"Forget it." He tries to step away but she blocks his path, the corners of his mouth twitch and she knows he's holding back a smile.

"You said you wanted to propose!" 

"I'm not doing it. I already did." 

"I think you should try it again!" 

"No, it's done. That's it. I'm not doing it, I only propose once a day." She punches him again. "Felicity!"  

"Please just try it once, alright! I'm ready." Excitement pulses through her and she can't help but hop a little. "One last time."  

"Felicity?" 

 "Yes?" 

"Will you marry me?" 

"No. I'm kidding! Yes, I will!"  

"Just give me your finger before I change my mind." 

"Okay." 

He slips the pretty silver diamond ring on her finger and before she gives herself time to really admire it, she pulls him down into a kiss.  

She's getting married. To this awesome human being. In some distant part of her conscious she hears the phone ring but lets it go to voicemail, nothing can mar this perfect moment for her. 

 _Hey,_ _its_ _Felicity. L_ _eave_ _me a message._  

 _Hi,_ _Fe_ _licity._ _Um, it's, uh_ _..._ _it's Oliver Queen_ _from Star City Prep_ _, and I need you to call me back when you can_ _-_  

Pulling away from Tommy she dives across the living room to pick up the phone before Oliver Queen can ruin her life again. 

Why? Why? Why? 

Why the hell is he calling her now? When everything is perfect, this is literally the last thing she needs right now.  

"Hello?" 

"Uh, hi. Felicity? Hey it's uh Oliver, Oliver Queen, and, um we kind of, uh, did it that one time, and I need to-" 

She hangs up before she even knows what she's doing.  

"Who was that?" She hears Tommy ask behind her 

It's probably wrong to start your engagement off with an egregious lie, and she knows she's going to have to tell Tommy everything one day before they get married. But today is not going to be that day. It's not going to be this moment. 

"It was a wrong number." 

Hell fuck no will she be letting Oliver Queen ruin this for her too. 

 

After the weird blast from the past she and Tommy celebrate their new engagement with the champagne he'd bought the night before and Japanese take-out and lots and lots of banging, and she forgets all about Oliver Queen. 

 

True to his word, Tommy centers the next morning of conversation topics around high school. 

"Alright the topic is terrible nicknames from high school people, let's get these phones ringing." 

"The winners so far are the probably racist Dork Fried Rice and Hug E. Fresh, we have got Zia on the line do you really think you can top our contenders?" She's met with silence on the other end of the line and she wonders if they've lost the caller already. "Zia, are you there? What was your high school nickname?" 

"Felicity?" A much deeper voice than she expects says over the line. 

"Felicity? Wow, all right. So you've gone through some changes, no judgment here." 

"Uh, it's Oliver, from high school. I actually really need to talk to you right now."  

She sees the exact moment Tommy recognizes the opportunity at hand, eyes lighting up with mischief. Meanwhile, she's fairly certainly she died and gone to hell recently because even in her worst nightmares she couldn't have come up with a situation like this. She motions to John to cut the line, but the same giddiness is playing over her features and she knows she's lost this battle already. 

"High school? Wait a minute! You went to highschool with Felicity? Okay, maybe he can shed some light on your teen years." 

"No. No. No, Tommy there will be no shedding of light." 

"Oh, there's gonna be light shed ." He stands picking up the mic, almost jumping with excitement. "So when was the last time you saw her, was she smoking clove cigarettes behind the dumpster? Or campaigning against the patriarchy of senior prom?" 

"Let's not talk about high school, okay? Everybody knows I hated high school." 

"What are you talking about? Who hates high school, Felicity? What'd you have, like, a pizza face or something?" 

"No!" 

"An unrequited love affair with a driver's ed teacher?" 

"Tommy, come on!" 

"Or were you one of those girls that got knocked up on prom night?" He's laughing when he says it, obviously joking, but for once words fail her. She feels the color drain from her face and Tommy finally stops when he sees it. A little color drains from his too, breaking from the teasing banter their characters project to a much more concerned version of himself. "Felicity did you get knocked up on prom night?" 

"More like Winter Formal..." Oliver says through the radio speaker and in an instant her embarrassment and fear turn to homicidal rage. 

"Oliver!" 

"I know, Felicity, I just really need to talk to you. I'm outside in the parking lot."  

"What?" Ripping off the headphones, she goes to the window and sure enough he's standing out there next to a shitty van. She barely throws a glance to Tommy who's still sitting dumbfounded before she's rushing out the doors and down the stairs to the parking lot. 

She sees him there in the same spot, his face pinched but otherwise everything about him reads as nonchalant and it only fuels her fire. 

"What the hell is the matter with you?" She yells, crossing the lot to him. She doesn't think she's been this mad since the last time she saw him,

"Okay, calm down." He placates his hands raising in surrender.

"Calm down?" She pushes into his chest, but he's solid and doesn't budge. "Is this how you get someone to calm down by calling them and humiliating them in public?" 

"I called you last night but you hung up on me." The fucking nerve, the fucking _audacity_ , Oliver Queen is as bold and reckless as ever. 

"So this is the natural alternative? Oh, my God, you haven't changed a bit. Except your hairline." A hand travels to his head self consciously. 

"Why does everybody keep talking about my hair?" 

"What? What is so important that you couldn't wait until I after I was off the air?" 

He moves his burly body to the side and she see's a small girl with dark hair and bright nervous features behind him. 

"Felicity. Meet Zia. Our daughter." 

**Author's Note:**

> If it wasn't obvious this fic is heavily inspired by Life Unexpected. Rewatched it recently and couldn't help but notice how perfect it'd be for Olicity and thought it would be fun to rewire it a little. If you like, subscribe to the series so you can keep up with the updates :D


End file.
